Congratulations Jillian and Ed !

Jillian finally made her choice tonight with the somewhat surprising pick of Ed Swiderski, the slightly overweight Chicagoan, in what some might describe as the most scripted and dull season in Bachelorette history.

In an effort to keep the viewers awake throughout the entire two hour show, ABC brought back previously jilted Reid for an encore performance. Reid, who will go down in Bachelorette history as the only guy to be dumped twice in the same month in the same state by the same woman, can only look back at this as a "learning experience". Hey, at least he got two free trips to Hawaii.

And then there was Kip the drip...poor guy thought he had the final rose in the bag. Hell, after looking at the competition, wouldn't you ? But little did Kip know that his previous history as being the "dumper" and never the "dumpie" would come back to haunt him. Jillian obviously got her panties wet at the thought of seeing Kip in his bare nudeness, but figured at some point he would dump her as well. So she beat Kip to the punch and gave him some of his own medicine when she dumped Kip shortly after he told her he loved her. Be that a lesson for all gigolos who flaunt their eight pack stomach muscles.

As for Ed and Jillian...I truly hope this thing works out. But I can't see how it can given the fact that there are so many things working against them. Sure, Jillian and Ed like each other, and I'm sure they have chemistry. But lets look at reality...

Ed lives in Chicago, while Jillian lives in another country.

Ed is very tall, while Jillian is a midget.

Ed couldn't get it up during their first overnight date while Jillian rubbed him bra-less.

Ed might be gay.

Ed already broke Jil's heart once when he quit the show, and might break her heart again.

The bottom line is this.... Ed and Jillian have everything working against them because now they have to face the reality that the show is over and they are stuck with each other. No more free trips in first class to Spain, no more free trips to Hawaii, no more exotic dinners, no more overnight fantasy suite orgies with rose pedals scattered on the floor. From now on its Ed the overweight Cubs fan who likes hot dogs and beer. And if at some point they live together in Chicago, will Jillian be happy ? Especially after she has lived in beautiful Vancouver. Let me tell ya, I've been to both of those cities, and Chicago ain't no Vancouver. And what about the citizenship situation ? Will Jillian become a US citizen just to appease Ed ? Will Jillian really become a Cubs fan ? Would Ed really put her through that type of trauma ?

On the flip side, what if Jillian requests that Ed move to Canada ? Would Ed leave America just for her ? And would Ed really be happy with the Canadian health care system ? These are just little details that can make or break a relationship. If I were a betting man, I'd give Jillian's and Ed's relationship a 1 in 10 chance of lasting more than a year. But I'm hoping I'm wrong.

Finally, bravo to the ABC producers for scripting another make believe reality TV love story. We know you couldn't top Jason/Molly/Melissa, but you gave it your best try anyway. Problem was, Wes broke the sacred bond among contestants....as he told the truth about how corny and phony most of the show really is.

I can hardly wait for the next Bachelor show...

Tonight's the night...

Sorry, I haven't been able to do much blogging the last few weeks...had a serious health issue that needed immediate attention and wasn't able to concern myself with much of anything else. Things are looking better now, and I promise to write a review of the big finale. I just hope Jillian follows her heart and not her hormones when choosing from Ed, Kip, and Reid.

Stay tuned...

Reid will be back.....

Stay tuned for more on this developing situation...

An interview with a former Bachelor producer...

The following interview was conducted a few years ago with a one time producer of the Bachelor and NPR (National Public Radio). After reading this interview, there should be no doubt in your minds on how the show is created.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/monitormix/2008/04/the_bachelor_1.html


Question: Describe your role or duties as a producer on 'The Bachelor.'

Answer: I was involved in every aspect of the production; I was heavily involved with casting, interviewing the cast, and following/driving story.

Q: How does the production on a reality television program vary from scripted or more traditional forms?

A: We shoot 100% of the time and air 1% of what we shot. With that said, we roll on a lot of boring sh*t but as soon as you set the camera down is when the good stuff happens, therefore we only stop when they are sleeping and even then there is somebody on standby just in case. Reality TV is known as being down and dirty and on the cheap, so it is very different from scripted [TV] in that one of my roles was to try to get everything for free -- if you see us at a resort in Bermuda it is because that said resort is looking for PR and they gave us the whole date for trade out.
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Q: Do you feel like the contestants on 'The Bachelor' (and the Bachelor himself) are actually there to find love? Or do they see it as a way of furthering their careers, entering show-biz, or getting their 15 minutes of fame?

A: I am a bit of a hopeless romantic, so without sounding too cheesy I really believe that at our core most of us are looking for true love. Now, why would some go to match.com, a bar, or a reality TV show? The decision to go on TV is telling of their personalities and their motivations are almost never pure for these reality types. They usually want to leverage something. I don't know if it is always a career in acting more than it is fame, recognizability, covers of US Weekly, never having to wait in line at a club, for some it is about hometown celebrity status. Like take the realtor or the banker for example, after bearing all on a reality romance show they are inevitably viewed as an alpha type person and because of this their lives are exponentially better having made themselves a household name. Not to mention that over 50% of the cast, having not found love on TV end up finding it in their real lives immediately after going on the show -- somehow the people in their lives see them differently, more attractive even, having done something so ballsy.

Q: Does the editing process do justice to the contestants or is there a vast difference between what happened during the taping and what appears on the broadcast? In other words, does the editing carve out a story line or play up certain personalities in order to make it more interesting? I think this is the general assumption that the audience has.

A: TOTALLY! Everyone always ask if what we see on TV is really what happened and for the most part it is but, going back to the film 100% and air 1%, the viewer is only getting to see the really good stuff and, even still, if the stories are many we are going to edit them down to the most compelling bits, therefore leaving out (often times) how somebody goes from seemingly normal to totally coo coo pants. We have even gone so far as to "frankenbite," where you take somebody saying, "of course I'd like to say that I love him" and cutting the bite together to say "of course I love him," cutting out the very important "I'd like to say." [It's] definitely very misleading to the viewer and unfair to the cast member, but they sign up for this, fully knowing the reputation of the reality world.

Q: Was there ever an intelligent or reasonably cool Bachelor or contestant?

A: Yes. Intelligent -- absolutely most of them are college graduated and some of them prestigious schools like Harvard. But does that make them "cool", no. Were some cool? Absolutely, but I guess that is all in who you ask. Take an associate of mine, if you asked her she would say that none of them were cool. Me, I am a sucker for the human experience, no matter if it is up my alley or not. I liked some of the Bachelors/Bachelorettes but others of them I hated (and I really have to try hard to be moved to hatred.) There are a couple of them that I genuinely care about. Would people like hanging out with these celebrated love seekers? Probably not -- unless you take Meredith she actually was one of the more "normal/cool" cast members that we had. Bob was cool by most people's standards, fun loving, kind hearted, a karaoke machine, and now the host of "Trick My Trucker" who wouldn't want to hang out with that type?

Q: What tricks or strategies does the show employ to amp up the drama and tension during the taping of the show?

A: Well, in the private one on one interviews with a producer (like me) it is the producers job to get the sh*t talking started, like "tell me honestly what you think of Sally" -- if the interviewee does not want to respond in a catty way then the producer will usually go to the next level, like "well I personally think she is a self absorbed, attention starved skank," and then see if the person will take the bait. Once you start learning who in the house is not well liked it is easy to start seeding conversations and gossip. Also, if the conversations linger too long on favorite movies and stuff the producers will step in a say, "ok we all know we signed up for a TV show -- so if you don't start talking about something more topical then you can't have the sushi you requested tonight." The smarter cast members start to realize that everything can be bartered. Like, "I will give you a good one-on-one interview about Sally, IF you let me listen to my iPod for the rest of the day."

Q: Do you feel like 'The Bachelor' already has his lady picked out early on but has to appear undecided due to the nature of the show?

A: Sometimes yes and sometimes no -- really, every hero cast member is different; sometimes there is an undeniable chemistry and that has to be well masked throughout the show, as not to give away the ending. But other times they don't "know" until the very last minute.

Q: What is the interview process like to be a contestant on 'The Bachelor', or to be The Bachelor himself?

A: It is pretty crazy, there are several phone interviews first, then they fly him out with others for a competitive casting sessions where they are all put on camera, taken to dinner, interviewed some more, etc. When the execs finally have a cast member that they'd like to work with they meet with the head of ABC to get his blessing. Sometimes it takes awhile, as they are some real douche bags out there.

Q: How does the crew of 'The Bachelor' deal with the craziness and general stupidity of what they are witnessing?

A: Most of the time the crew gets pretty into it! Reality TV is such a grind for the crew, long hours with little pay that they actually look forward to the crazy bits, it helps to pass the time and the executives get so excited that the vibe is felt throughout. The camera man that has been shooting for 12 straight hours of mani/pedis is like, 'I know this shit I am filming is actually gonna make it to air.' It is pretty satisfying to watch the kids go to crazy town especially for those of us that sold out on any hope of a real life ourselves. Also it makes you happy of any drama free life you may be living.

Q: Why is there never any acknowledgment that the contestants are on television? Aside from the one-on-one interview with the camera, I always wonder why people don't talk about how strange the process is, or admit to the surreal nature of the program during their involvement. Is this edited out or do they truly forget the cameras are there?

A: Definitely edited out. Whenever anyone is talking about the cameras they get scolded and told to resume more TV friendly chitchat. They are told up front that they have to ignore the cameras and after awhile they really do go away, or if they don't you usually don't last long because if you aren't being "yourself", or at least being emotional and effusive then you won't last long on the show; you will be overshadowed by the ones that can get past the cameras. If you don't bring your personality to the show then you end up looking like a cold stone bitch and the producers make sure of that.

A Brady Commentary on Wes....

After listening to Wes's radio interviews this week, I've decided to devote a special thread to voice my opinion on the matter. Make no mistake, this isn't an endorsement of Wes, as I'm still not buying his act 100%. Having said that, by now it should be obvious to Bachelorette viewers that much of what Wes has stated about the "scripting" of the show is accurate.

Those of you who are faithful viewers need to remember an important fact. The Bachelor/Bachelorette series is produced for one reason - to make money. And to make money the show needs to get decent ratings. So in the eyes of ABC and the producers, its all about ratings and revenue. Basically, the Bachelor/Bachelorette series is no different than any other network programming. Those of you who are under the impression that ABC cares about a real love story that ends in marriage need to understand what I just stated about ratings and revenue. If the final rose ceremony ends with a real marriage, as with Trista and Ryan, great. If it ends with the final couples breaking up shortly thereafter, well that's fine as well. The simple truth is, ABC doesn't care one way or the other about love or marriage, as long as the ratings are good. But here's the catch - the ratings for the Bachelor/Bachelorette have increased as the show has become more and more scripted....thats why we've seen the drama with Brad Womack and Deanna, the scripted nonsense between Jason and Melissa, and now the extremely obvious scripting of Wes as the "villain".

Regarding Wes, he's made some serious charges against the producers of the show. Wes claims that ABC edited his own words and took them out of context with the goal of making Wes look bad. Furthermore, Wes claims that during the nearly two months he was involved with the show, he spent only four hours alone with Jillian. Wes claims that he requested more "alone" time with Jillian, yet the producers denied him his request each time. So my question to all of you is this....if the goal of the show is about Jillian meeting her true love, how could she do so when the producers denied her access to Wes? And how could any couple be expected to fall in love if they've been with each other for only four hours over a two month time frame ?

In conclusion, even though I'm not a big fan of Wes's act, I'd probably trust him more than I'd trust the people at ABC. So, I'm going to give Wes the benefit of the doubt on this and send him off into the sunset with one final curtain call...here's his latest single...

Weekly review # 8....07/06/09

I want to start by stating that I'm very unhappy with the events that took place this week. I watch this goofy little show with the anticipation that at some point during the season the Bachelorette, in this case Jillian, will hop in the sack with multiple partners during Fantasy suite week. Nothing like a trollop swapping spit (and potential diseases) on the pretense that its all about love. So what did Jillian do ? She destroyed what little entertainment value this show holds for me when she got prudish at the last minute by rejecting all the guys.... What happened to the Jillian we all know and love ? You know, the Jillian that jumped in the hot tub with Jason last year ? Or the Jillian who french kissed dozens of guys earlier this year ? That's the Jillian we want to see, not this prudish girl with morals. But more on that later...lets get to the review...

This week Jillian dates each of the final four guys with the goal of getting to know them in a more normal environment. So where does Jillian take them?...Spain...where else. The first guy up is Kip the Drip....(man this guy is boring, every time ABC starts the show with this guy I fall asleep, but fortunately this week I was loaded with caffeine so I made it through). There were only a few things worth remembering about the Jillian/Kip date. The first was the hilarious flamenco dancing where Kip looked like an unemployed mariachi singer one would see on the streets of Tijuana. (I was almost waiting for Kip to bring out the donkey.) Another thing worth remembering from this date was Kip telling Jillian that he “ thinks a proposal seems far off at this point in time”. Either Kip is getting smart, or he has already made the determination that he doesn't see Jillian in his long term future. Lets just hope that if Kip gets booted by Jillian, he doesn't become the next Bachelor - because if he does, ABC's ratings will drop like lead. But the big event to be remembered from this date is when Jillian refuses Kip's invitation to hop in the sack for the overnight fantasy suite spit swap. Tell you the truth, Kip didn't seem that upset when she rejected him...

Up next its Reid's turn with Jillian. I'll give Reid credit for one thing...unlike Kip, at least Reid attempts to show a personality. The date starts in the grocery store where Jillian and Reid try to communicate in Espanol, yet come across as two idiot gringos. Moving on to later in the date, Jillian and Reid do small talk with Reid telling Jillian why he likes her. Reid tells Jil that she has a great personality, good sense of humor, smells nice, looks good in red, has pretty eyes,...blah, blah, blah...it seemed as if Reid was running out of "canned" compliments. I just wish he had come out and said what he really was feeling, which was that he wanted to see her naked in the fantasy suite. Speaking of the fantasy suite - as with Kip, Reid was rejected. But unlike Kip, Reid seemed to be pissed for not getting his chance to see Jil's cute little ass and pert boobies in the raw.....Oh come on people, you KNOW that's all most of these guys are thinking, get real.

The third victim in this passion play is Ed. Personally, I don't know why these two get along, but there must be some sort of chemistry between them. After all, why would Ed, who's an extremely tall lookalike of Greg Brady, want to be with Jillian, who is barely five feet tall in heels ? And what the hell is Ed doing here anyway ? Didn't he leave the show because his job was on the line ? Now Ed's back, yet the viewers haven't been told how he got back on the show, or what happened with his job in Chicago. Speaking of Chicago, Ed gave the clear implication that if he is chosen, Jillian might want to start packing her bags for a move to the windy city. When Jillian asks Ed if she would like Chicago, Ed says the city is all about food and restaurants. And if she's lucky, Ed might even take her to a Cubs game...but wait, Jillian doesn't know anything about baseball...that's alright, Ed will buy her hot dogs at the game to keep her entertained. Fun guy. As with Kip and Reid, Ed gets rejected for the fantasy suite nude love fest, but unlike Kip and Reid, Ed gets to stay with Jil in the suite with his clothes on. I'll give Ed some credit...while on the fantasy suite bed, I saw Ed move his hands on Jillian's butt...at least his mind was in the right place. LOL

The final date of this episode it between Jillian and Wes...or what I call the end of the "Wes Side Story". This is what ABC producers have been promoting for weeks now...the tension filled romance between Jil and Wes...basically this is ABC's "money shot". Unfortunately, the money shot missed its mark, as Wes couldn't pull off the act any longer. During the date, we witness Jil and Wes at a restaurant, yet very little food was eaten. Instead, Jillian drills Wes on all sorts of issues, including Wes's alleged girlfriend. Wes seems distant to Jillian, Jillian seems distant to Wes, and the food was getting cold. Suddenly, the waiter shows up with the fantasy suite invitation...Jil reads it, Wes insincerely says, "yea, we should do it".(At this point Jillian should get an Oscar for continuing this farce as long as she has.) Shortly thereafter, the dinner date ends, Jil and Wes walk outside, Wes gets into the cab, and Jillian is relieved that she no longer has to pretend that she didn't know Wes was a plant by ABC the entire season.

Moving on the the rose ceremony....

The suspense at this particular ceremony isn't so much based on who Jillian will choose, because we all know Wes was getting the boot. Instead, the suspense is caused by the absence of Chris Harrison. Where was Chris ? Did his plane crash over the Atlantic ? Did he get murdered by a mad flamenco dancer in Spain ? The viewers were left in the dark....poor Jillian was forced to handle the rose ceremony all by herself. Anyway, when Wes got the boot he drove away in a limo. My question is why did Wes get a limo ride home while much nicer guys like Robby were booted off in less luxurious wheels ? Based on Wes's actions, he deserved to be escorted out of town on a mule cart. But then again, limo transportation was probably part of the contract Wes signed when he was paid to be on the show. LOL

So the final three are Ed, Kip, and Reid. I can hardly wait to find out which one of these knuckleheads will need viagra next week in Hawaii.

Weekly review # 7...6/29/09

The show starts with Jillian going to the hometown's of Jesse, Reid, Wes, Michael, and Kip. Whenever I watch these "hometown" dates, I'm always intrigued by the family members who are willing to embarrass themselves on national television for the sake of their child, brother, or sister. Among this group of families, I found Jesse's family to be the most bizarre, followed closely by Wes's. Michael's family seemed semi-normal, as did Reid's, while Kip's mother seemed in need of a good lay. In comparison to previous season's families, this group wasn't much to write home about. Nor was the small talk between Jillian and the various family members...been there, done that.

The real story to report this week is the ABC scripted drama between Wes and Jake, as well as the re-emergence of Ed. Lets start with the fabricated love story between Ed and Jillian. If you recall, Ed left the show a few weeks ago with the excuse that his boss in Chicago was about to fire him unless he got back to work. This week Ed came back, claiming that he couldn't live with himself unless he saw Jillian again. As for Jillian, she looked surprised to see Ed come back (or as surprised as she could be considering ABC had the whole thing scripted). Ed told Jillian that all he wanted was another chance during the rose ceremony, Jillian agreed that she'd give him consideration, but also told Ed he had fallen behind in "quality time" compared to the rest of the guys. (So much for romance)

Now lets move on to the meat of the show....or what I call the "Wes Side Story". Apparently ABC thought it a good idea to use Wes as this year's villain, as Wes has been labeled a liar, a cheater, and a hustler - only concerned about his future in the music business. This week we witness the previously dumped Jake reemerge on the show, taking time off from his job as pilot for Euthanasia Airlines. Jake hooks up with Jillian and informs her that the villain Wes has a girlfriend. That's right, not only is Jake a pilot, but a snitch as well. When told of this horrible news about Wes and his alleged girlfriend, Jillian breaks down and starts to cry. Jake lets Jillian know that he's telling her because he cares too much for her and doesn't want to see her get hurt by Wes. (So instead, Jake hurts Jillian himself by telling her a story that might or might not be true.) As Jake leaves the hotel room, he says goodbye to Jillian and walks into the hallway, leans over what appears to be a balcony, and starts balling in a scene reminiscent of another wimp by the name of Jason Mesnick.

After regaining her composure after the tragic news from Jake, Jillian invites Wes to her hotel room. Jillian asks Wes if he is there for the right reasons...Wes gets defensive, Jillian presses Wes for more info, Wes tells her to ask him what is on her mind....Jillian does, Wes gets pissed...blah, blah, blah. ABC then figures it might be fun to bring Jake back into the room.(presumably after he stopped crying) Jake enters the room, Wes looks uncomfortable, Jake confronts Wes about his "other" girlfriend. Wes denies, denies, denies...Jake says Wes lies, lies, lies. Jake leaves, Wes stays, Jillian prays....you get the picture. Jillian says the dinner date must go on with Wes's family. Jillian and Wes arrive for the dinner, Wes tells the family about Jake, the family defends Wes, Jillian leaves the dinner a happy camper once again. Its seems as if nothing will deny Jillian what she truly desires, which is to satisfy the tingly sensation between her legs each and every time she sees Wes.

On to the rose ceremony...

All the usual suspects show up, with the addition of Ed, giving Jillian more stress as she tries to decide who will be her future hubby. No surprise that Kip, Wes, and Reid survive the cut, and that Jesse gets the boot. But I was somewhat surprised to see Ed stay, as he has the personality of a dead fish. And poor ole Michael finally got the boot this week, now he'll have to go back home and once again make love to his inflatable doll.

Weekly review#6 ...6/22/09

Lets start with the obvious...if you're wondering what took so long for this review, let me explain. As I usually do, I sat down in front of the tube on Monday night with popcorn in my hand ready to watch another exciting episode of the Bachelorette. For those of you with short memories, this episode included Jillian doing a train with the guys in the Canadian Rockies. The show started with Jillian and Robby on a "one on one" date. Robby, who is a bartender, started the date by asking Jillian what she wanted to drink, she replied, and he made the drink. Apparently this was the highlight of the date for Jillian, as shortly thereafter, she dumped him. But this wasn't just another Bachelorette "dumping". No, this time the ABC producers came up with a new idea to make the contrived drama look even more ridiculous. You see, once Jillian told Robby he wasn't getting a rose, the train stopped and Robby was forced to get off - in the middle of the Rockies. That's right, the poor sap Robby not only got dumped by Jillian, but he was forced to get off the fricken train ! Fortunately, one could see a van waiting along the tracks waiting to pick up Robby for his long drive back to wherever the hell he came from. Hell, I'm waiting for ABC to script another one of those goofy helicopter dates for Jillian. I can see it now, while in the helicopter Jillian tells one of the guys that he isn't getting a rose, and at the urging of ABC, Jillian tells the dude he must jump out in mid-air. Now that would be a great way to create excitement in what has otherwise been a dull season. (Lets just hope ABC supplies the parachute.) Which leads me to why I didn't write a review for this episode last week. Its really a simple explanation...shortly after the Robby segment, I fell asleep. That's right, I fell asleep and missed the rest of the episode. But from what I've heard, I didn't miss much, and since we all know who the finalists will be, it didn't matter anyway.

Weekly review #5, 06/15/09

Contrived, ridiculous, predictable, but most of all, boring. Those are the words that best describe this week's episode of the Bachelorette. Sorry that it took me so long to write a review, but seriously, because this show has reached new lows of superficiality, I was having a hard time coming up with anything meaningful to review. But the show must go on, right ? Rather than rehash the entire snooze fest this week, what I will do instead is focus on two of the most interesting parts of the show. (if there were any)

Lets start with the contrived nonsense between Jillian and her new found love "Ed". I don't know about you, but I barely remember this guy Ed from previous episodes. Oh sure, he was part of the show, but never was this knucklehead shown to be in a deep relationship with Jillian...until this week. As you probably know by now, Ed was told by his employer back in Chicago to either come back to work, or find a new job. ABC played this up as a heartbreaking conflict that Ed needed to resolve....a conflict so deep and emotional that Ed needed days to figure it out. Hey douchebag, if the choice is between a stable job that pays good money versus a bimbo, I'll take the job every time. Yet ABC, thinking that the viewers are even more stupid than Jillian and Ed, played this thing up as if it were a serious issue. What makes me even more annoyed is the fact that Jillian was hurt that poor ole Ed decided to go back to Chicago instead of staying with her. Is she serious ? Or is this just another scripted act by the ABC producers to create drama ? If Jillian was serious, then I have even less respect for her than I did before, (which was very little) This little tramp hardly even knows Ed, yet she wants him to give up his job just for her ? Hell, he isn't even her boyfriend yet....give me a break...

That leads to my next annoyance...the one on one date between Jillian and Michael. I should state from the start that I think Michael is the most annoying dude on the show this year, or any fucking year ! Break dancer ? This retard should spend more time getting his GED and less time hitting on chicks he has no chance of getting. (Even if the chick is someone as mediocre as Jillian) It was obvious that during the dinner date these two had absolutely NO chemistry. It was almost as if Jillian was interviewing Michael for a job when asking him what he wants to do with his life, what type of woman he likes, and whether he was on the show for the right reasons. Hey Michael, I have some advice for you sport...kill yourself ! Comprende?

In conclusion, I'm having more and more respect for Wes...because if it's true that he is on the show only to promote his CD, then he is definitely on the show for the right reason, because promoting his CD is a far more noble cause than falling in love with a trollop.

The victims, excuse me, the guys making this cut this week are...

Jesse, Kip, Reid, Robby, Michael, Wes, Jake, Tanner.

Weekly review #4...6/8/09

Not much kissing in this episode...Jillian's lips must still be sore from last week.

The show started with the guys going to Jillian's home town of Vancouver. Once there, Kip got the honor of doing a "one on one" date. They meet at a harbor, where Jillian informs Kip that they will be going kayaking across the harbor to a store where they can purchase food for a dinner later that evening. The highlight of this shopping event was Jillian's mispronunciation of the word "pasta". As the day turns to evening, Jillian and Kip have a romantic date with soft kisses, good wine, more soft kisses, and finally, the obligatory rose for Kip. In other words, a boring ten minutes of television programming. Moving on...

Next up was the 'groupie" date where Jillian and the guys go "curling". For those of you who didn't watch the late night replay of the winter olympics, let me explain what curling is. Basically, an object the size of a bowling ball with a flat bottom slides down the ice while grown men and women brush the ice with broom sticks to make the object go faster. Fun stuff for a group of horny guys who all want one thing, which is to get in Jillian's pants, right ? OK, I know what you're all asking...is the remainder of the show as boring as the beginning ? Well, no...let me explain why. You see, there was a method to ABC's madness when they introduced "curling" into the show. Since it was a group date, and the Harlem Globetrotters were out of town, curling was the next best thing to get all the guys together to show off in front of Jillian. The guys were split up into two teams and the winning team got to spend the rest of the day with Jillian. And the winners were Jake, Jesse, David, Robby, and Juan.

First up to spend "alone" time with Jillian was Jake the commercial pilot. Poor Jake. He brings up a prior statement by Jillian in which she says he should "be himself"...basically that's the kiss of death for Jake and he knows it. But being the good sport he is, Jake says to Jillian.."this is the real me". Jillian looks at Jake and realizes that she doesn't like the "real" Jake and gives him a hug instead of a sloppy kiss. From this point on, Jake is nothing more than a prop for the show, but hey, at least he can fly for free.

Then we move on to Jesse the winemaker ( or pizza delivery boy)...at this point I'm getting confused, as Jesse really hasn't received much air time. But anyway, the significant thing with Jesse is that Jillian gives him a nice kiss on the lips. Whether than means she plans on doing him later in the season is hard to determine, but chances are in his favor. I'll keep you posted on this Jesse guy as he could be a real "sleeper". Moving on to the highlight of the show we once again are subjected to David the drunk.

David gets special mention here because as I've stated from nearly the start of the season, I think he was a plant by ABC. More on that later, but first, lets discuss the Jillian/David get together...Its starts with David informing Jillian that she has a great ass. No kidding...(as its a great way to start a conversation between two people on their first date....women love that kind of talk - the same way they love to hear men tell them they have big tits.) So Davie the lover boy thinks he is off to a good start with Jillian and proceeds to give her a big juicy kiss on the lips, but Jillian quickly turns away before David can share his saliva. David is shocked that Jillian won't kiss him and he says he's never been rejected before. Jillian informs David that she isn't the type of girl that kisses every guy she meets, but only the guys she likes. (Which is probably more guys than she cares to remember) David then takes his hand and attempts to touch Jillian's left boob. ABC had to "bleep out" what David said to her, but apparently David suggested to Jillian that her tit was falling out of her blouse. Jillian then told David that it was her bra. (No, I'm not making this up...but if I were a betting man, I say ABC scripted this entire scene) Which leads me to ask the following...remember when I wrote in an earlier review that I thought David was a plant ? Well now there are rumors floating all over the net that suggest my initial impressions might be accurate. In fact, one rumor suggests that on the first night of the show David's limo scene with Jillian had to be filmed three times before getting it right. Yea, that was the scene where the retard David gets out of the limo, walks up to Jillian, and stands in front of her for nearly thirty seconds without saying a word. And for whatever reason, Jillian gave David the first impression rose for his efforts. Was it a sincere impression that Jillian received ? Or was Jillian part of the act as well ?

Moving on to the next date, this time a "two on one" between Jillian, Mark and "Speedo Mike". Compared to the sexual predator David, these two chumps were extremely dull - so to make a long story short, Mike didn't make the cut this time, apparently his speedos could get him only so far. As for Mark, he makes the cut but is about as exciting as a ten pound bag of fertilizer. Enough said..

The only other noteworthy happening was between Jillian and Tanner,ie, the foot freak. Although Tanner didn't do his fancy footwork on this date, he did start some controversy by suggesting that one of the guys was in a relationship with another woman. Tanner, being the snitch that he is, wouldn't tell Jillian who the two timing guy was, so all Jillian could do was cry a bit, and hope it wasn't Wes, as she's probably already had sex with Wes. So to create more drama, Chris Harrison comes out just before the rose ceremony and tells the guys that Jillian is very upset...and asks the guys to spill the beans. None of the guys does, so Jillian goes on with the ceremony as if nothing happened. But something did happen...which is that I wasted two hours watching this shit.


The guys making the cut...Jesse,Kip,Mark,Reid,Robby,Ed,Michael,Wes,Jake,Tanner.

Weekly review #3...6/01/09

While watching this week's episode, one word kept popping up in my head.....herpes. Why ? Because within the first half hour of viewing, Jillian kissed more dudes than I can count (she probably didn't remember how many either). Hell, I'm surprised she didn't kiss Chris Harrison at some point in the night. But hey, Jillian says she's looking for a "friend" she can love for the rest of her life, so who am I to complain ?

Early in the show, we witnessed the predictable "helicopter date over LA" with Jillian and Ed. Just a question, but why does ABC continue to do these helicopter dates each season ? Having flown in a few helicopters myself and having experienced the excessive noise that a helicopter engine causes, I would think the LAST place I would take someone on a first date would be on a helicopter. But thats me....

Moving on to the group date, Jillian and the guys go western and film a wild west themed movie reminiscent of the great John Wayne. This was Jillian's cue to kiss more guys, one after another, some with tongue, some not. During the filming we witness a gay scene between two of the guys, Michael and Mike, but fortunately we weren't subjected to any kissing between the dudes. Near the end of this wild west farce, Wes the country singer takes Jillian for a private walk and lets her know its tough for him to watch her kiss other guys. She suggests that he is jealous, but Wes was probably more concerned about catching a nasty disease than anything else. But being the southern gentleman he is, Wes plants a kiss on Jillian's cheek and tells her more will come later. Oh boy, such drama !


Moving on, we then witness the guys back at the mansion. This means one thing...excessive drinking ! David,(the town drunk) tells anyone who will listen how much he hates Juan. Juan comes out on the patio,David sees him and proceeds to tell Juan to go back inside the mansion. Juan does as he is told. David continues to drink, and starts arguing with a few of the guys, asking them why they don't hate Juan as much as he does. At this point the producers probably told Juan to go back out and confront David, so thats what Juan does. David tells Juan that he is a bad guy, blah, blah, blah,,,but what David really wants is to get inside Juan's pants. (You KNOW David is gay, admit it !)

Moving on, Jillian jumps in the hot tub with all the guys (how romantic), and then gets out of the tub with Robby, and sits down with him and does more kissing while the rest of the guys remain in the tub. (Don't ask me what some of the guys were doing under the water) After Jillian is finished kissing Robby, she jumps back in the tub and gets attacked by the foot freak Tanner P. Of course, the viewers are supposed to believe this jerkoff is real and not another plant by ABC to create drama. And of course Jillian allows the farce to go on...presumably because she is looking for the man of her dreams and wants to get married and raise children, and maybe Tanner might be the "one"..... Yea, Tanner the dorky looking foot freak would be an excellent husband and father, ok....

Moving on to another "one on one" date, this time Jillian goes out with Sasha. Yea, the dude's name is Sasha. This poor sap claims he is the most well rounded guy in the mansion and believes he will be the one for Jillian. To make a long story short, Jillian rejects Sasha later in the evening..but get this. She walks him out to a bus stop where Sasha must hitch a ride back to wherever the hell he came from ! No limo, no van, not even a taxi for the poor fool Sasha. Instead he is forced to hitch a ride on public transportation. I knew the economy was bad, but I didn't know how bad it apparently must be for ABC.

Finally, in an act of charity, the show winds down to the rose ceremony. Brad and Tanner (not to be confused with the foot freak Tanner P) are cut loose by Jillian. As Brad is walking out the door he says its hard to love someone more than they love you. Huh ? You know what Brad ? Its even harder to love someone that doesn't know you, and considering Jillian spoke with you for about 10 minutes in her entire life, the odds are she didn't know you at all....now go home and do the honorable thing and kill yourself.

So, those making the cut this week are..

Wes,Jake,Mike,Juan,Jesse,David,Ed,Mark,Michael,Tanner,Kiptyn,Reid,Robby. Photos of most ( but not in order)..hell, we already know who the finalists are anyway. LOL

Lets guess the Final 4...(potential spoiler)

Kip gets a hometown date in Encinitas, California.

Wes gets a hometown date in Austin, Texas.

?... Could be Jesse...any guesses ?

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Reid gets a hometown date in Philadelphia,PA

Weekly review #2....5/25/09

If you're reading this, that means you've found the new home for Bachelorette News. Had to make some changes due to technical glitches, so hopefully everything will work as planned from now on. From this day forward, this blog, nor I, will be associated with Aletheia's old blog. As you can see, the polls that were up lost all the votes when transferred over to this forum, sorry about that. (Basically, I had to create a new forum from scratch) From now on everything should be fine.

Well, lets get on with the review for week number two...

Does the movie Animal House ring a bell ? Because after watching this week's episode I'm starting to feel like thats what I'm watching. A bunch of horny guys with limited women skills ( two of which might be gay) running around in the Bachelorette version of Delta House. Don't get me wrong, this isn't a jab at Animal House - if anything Animal House was far more sophisticated. But come on...as viewers we have been subjected to two male strippers, a pilot who believes he is in love after the first date, two gay guys apparently who got lost on the ABC set and ended up on the wrong show, and the inevitable testosterone filled conflict between Juan and David.(who also might be gay)

Before I forget to ask...does anyone really think this David character is real ? Give me a break...who gets mad at someone for not drinking a shot ? And what adult uses the language "Juan needs to be beat up" ? Beat up ? Isn't that terminology used by grade schoolers ? ABC is clearly using this tool David to create conflict in the hopes viewers like me won't fall asleep by the second hour of the show. Hey David, here's some advice asshole, if you want a job in Hollywood, take some acting lessons because your tough guy act with Juan makes you look like a clown.

OK, lets move on to a few of the more memorable parts of this week's show....lets start with Mike, ie, "Mr.Speedo". All I can say is he looked like a fool running into the ocean with tight speedos on....and looked like an even bigger fool when he came out of the water with what looked like a small appendage inside his speedos. Yea, that scene really got the attention of Jillian....what a loser. Not surprisingly, the ABC cameras quickly panned away from this jerkoff, probably out of respect for the handicapped.

Not to be outdone, another guy, (hell, I forgot his name, and so should you) did a full monty in front of Jillian and the rest of the guys when he jumped in the pool in the buff. Apparently he didn't have much going on below the waste because Jillian didn't give him a rose later in the evening. Enough said.

Lets move on to one of Jillian's "romantic" one on one dates..... Fasten your belts and put out your smokes because the pilot (Jake) goes on his first date with Jillian. The most memorable parts of this date are 1) Jillian's dance on the table while Jake pretends not to look under her dress...and 2) While sitting alone on their date together watching Martina McBride (doesn't everyone?) Jake plants a kiss on Jillian's lips in one of the more awkward moments of the night. But hey, he's obviously in love, as he has known her for at least thirty minutes, so hell, why not ? Certainly Jillian didn't mind. In fact, it seems as if its a requirement for Jillian to french kiss as many horny guys as she can before deciding which one she will marry later this year. Who would've thought such a sweet innocent girl like Jillian would have such a dark side ?...I did, thats who.

Another of the dates Jillian went on was with the aspiring country singer "Wes". Of course, we have no way of knowing what went on behind closed doors during the late night/early morning hours between these two, but I'm sure it was nothing more than Wes singing sweet love songs into Jillian's ears. Afterall, she said she loves country music.

I guess the highlight of the this week's show, (if there was one) occurred when the Harlem Globetrotters made an unexpected visit to the beachside basketball court to play hoops with Jillian and the guys. (They must be big fans of the show.. LOL) The Harlem Globetrotters ?.... I thought they were all dead. Where was Meadowlark Lemon ? or Curly Neal ? The only noteworthy Globetrotter in this bunch was the center who just might be tallest black guy I've ever seen. And I've been to Africa ! Hell, this guy makes Kareem Abdul Jabbar look like a midget in comparison.

As the show wound down to the predictable rose ceremony, Jillian did her thing and thanked all the dudes for showing up and being the incredible douchebags they are. In no particular order, the fools that made the cut this week are..

Wes,Jake,Mike,Juan,Jesse,David,Ed,Sasha,Mark,Michael,Tanner,Kiptyn,Reid,Robby,Tanner F. and Brad.

My first review...week #1....5/18/09

My first review,,,oh boy,,,I can hardly contain the excitement !

The first thing I noticed about Jillian is that she looks cute in white, but has smaller boobs than I remember from her time on the Bachelor. Perhaps all the sky diving, swimming, horseback riding, and other exotic behavior has trimmed her baby fat. But then again, Melissa Rycroft looks like she lost 15 pounds on DWTS. Perhaps we need to check out Molly to see if she lost weight as well. Hmmm....maybe something was in that New Zealand water....

Anyway, lets get to the dudes...Jillian seemed lost among the 25-30 men that drooled over her, don't ya think ? Something tells me that if the next few episodes go like the first night, the producers will have reason to worry that Jillian won't have the star appeal as previous Bachelorettes like Deanna. But since it was only the first night, perhaps Jillian just needs to loosen up and be herself. Hot tub anyone ?

As for the guys... Jake, Jesse, Wes, Mathue, Michael, Robert, Ed, Reid, Simon, Kiptyn, Mike, Brian D., Sasha, Julien, Tanner P., Mark, Brad, Tanner F…and the additional five...Buffy, Skippy, Huey, Douey and Louie. Don't ask me which of these guys got roses, at this point it doesn't matter because most of them are tools.

Did you catch the guy who got out of the limo, walked up to Jillian, only to stare at the ground for nearly 30 seconds without saying a word ? Ya, that guy. And imagine, Jillian actually gave this clown the "first impression" rose ! Great first impression....either the guy is a retard or a stalker....I guess we'll find out soon enough.

Then we were introduced to dude by the name of Wes. Rumor has it that he can sing and play guitar as well. Maybe he forgot what show he was on, as this is the Bachelorette, not American Idol. Hey, if he can sing without breaking my eardrums he'll already have surpassed that douchebag Adam Lambert in the talent department, so maybe there's hope for him afterall.

Then we were introduced to a guy who apparently is a commercial pilot. I don't know about you, but I thought the guy looked like he just graduated from junior college. Hopefully someone will tell us which airline he works for so I can avoid it the next time I fly.

The only other memorable dude was the balding lawyer from Chicago. Jillian did the smart thing and dumped him quickly. Don't know why lawyers go on these reality shows, don't they know people hate lawyers ? ...I bet he cried on his flight all the way back to Chicago. Loser.

There you have it, my first review, or should I say, mini review. There are just too many guys right now, its hard for me to remember who most of these douchebags are, let alone remember anything worthy of posting about them. But you are free to add anything to the discussion. But just one request - please don't bring up that jerk Jason Mesnick's name..... Crap, I just did.

Welcome to the new Bachelorette News Blog !

Hi, my name is Brady and I've taken over the day to day operation of the popular and award winning blog, formerly known as Bachelor News. Aletheia (did I spell it right?) asked me if I wanted to take over for her, so I have. Afterall, who could refuse such a sweetheart as Aletheia ? Just kidding...I accepted because she threatened to kill me if I said no.

I'll have a few changes as the blog progresses, and as you can see, the first change is the name...we now go by Bachelorette News. Pretty original name, eh ? Some other differences from the previous way things were run around here is that I don't have "inside sources", or any other friends close to the show. In fact, I'm embarrassed to admit to my friends that I even watch the show. But I watch it anyway...sometimes to be entertained, sometimes just to make fun of the many idiots who humiliate themselves on national tv. But never with the illusion that any of these people will fall in love. OK, call me jaded, but admit it, so are you !