My first review...week #1....5/18/09

My first review,,,oh boy,,,I can hardly contain the excitement !

The first thing I noticed about Jillian is that she looks cute in white, but has smaller boobs than I remember from her time on the Bachelor. Perhaps all the sky diving, swimming, horseback riding, and other exotic behavior has trimmed her baby fat. But then again, Melissa Rycroft looks like she lost 15 pounds on DWTS. Perhaps we need to check out Molly to see if she lost weight as well. Hmmm....maybe something was in that New Zealand water....

Anyway, lets get to the dudes...Jillian seemed lost among the 25-30 men that drooled over her, don't ya think ? Something tells me that if the next few episodes go like the first night, the producers will have reason to worry that Jillian won't have the star appeal as previous Bachelorettes like Deanna. But since it was only the first night, perhaps Jillian just needs to loosen up and be herself. Hot tub anyone ?

As for the guys... Jake, Jesse, Wes, Mathue, Michael, Robert, Ed, Reid, Simon, Kiptyn, Mike, Brian D., Sasha, Julien, Tanner P., Mark, Brad, Tanner F…and the additional five...Buffy, Skippy, Huey, Douey and Louie. Don't ask me which of these guys got roses, at this point it doesn't matter because most of them are tools.

Did you catch the guy who got out of the limo, walked up to Jillian, only to stare at the ground for nearly 30 seconds without saying a word ? Ya, that guy. And imagine, Jillian actually gave this clown the "first impression" rose ! Great first impression....either the guy is a retard or a stalker....I guess we'll find out soon enough.

Then we were introduced to dude by the name of Wes. Rumor has it that he can sing and play guitar as well. Maybe he forgot what show he was on, as this is the Bachelorette, not American Idol. Hey, if he can sing without breaking my eardrums he'll already have surpassed that douchebag Adam Lambert in the talent department, so maybe there's hope for him afterall.

Then we were introduced to a guy who apparently is a commercial pilot. I don't know about you, but I thought the guy looked like he just graduated from junior college. Hopefully someone will tell us which airline he works for so I can avoid it the next time I fly.

The only other memorable dude was the balding lawyer from Chicago. Jillian did the smart thing and dumped him quickly. Don't know why lawyers go on these reality shows, don't they know people hate lawyers ? ...I bet he cried on his flight all the way back to Chicago. Loser.

There you have it, my first review, or should I say, mini review. There are just too many guys right now, its hard for me to remember who most of these douchebags are, let alone remember anything worthy of posting about them. But you are free to add anything to the discussion. But just one request - please don't bring up that jerk Jason Mesnick's name..... Crap, I just did.