Weekly review #4...6/8/09

Not much kissing in this episode...Jillian's lips must still be sore from last week.

The show started with the guys going to Jillian's home town of Vancouver. Once there, Kip got the honor of doing a "one on one" date. They meet at a harbor, where Jillian informs Kip that they will be going kayaking across the harbor to a store where they can purchase food for a dinner later that evening. The highlight of this shopping event was Jillian's mispronunciation of the word "pasta". As the day turns to evening, Jillian and Kip have a romantic date with soft kisses, good wine, more soft kisses, and finally, the obligatory rose for Kip. In other words, a boring ten minutes of television programming. Moving on...

Next up was the 'groupie" date where Jillian and the guys go "curling". For those of you who didn't watch the late night replay of the winter olympics, let me explain what curling is. Basically, an object the size of a bowling ball with a flat bottom slides down the ice while grown men and women brush the ice with broom sticks to make the object go faster. Fun stuff for a group of horny guys who all want one thing, which is to get in Jillian's pants, right ? OK, I know what you're all asking...is the remainder of the show as boring as the beginning ? Well, no...let me explain why. You see, there was a method to ABC's madness when they introduced "curling" into the show. Since it was a group date, and the Harlem Globetrotters were out of town, curling was the next best thing to get all the guys together to show off in front of Jillian. The guys were split up into two teams and the winning team got to spend the rest of the day with Jillian. And the winners were Jake, Jesse, David, Robby, and Juan.

First up to spend "alone" time with Jillian was Jake the commercial pilot. Poor Jake. He brings up a prior statement by Jillian in which she says he should "be himself"...basically that's the kiss of death for Jake and he knows it. But being the good sport he is, Jake says to Jillian.."this is the real me". Jillian looks at Jake and realizes that she doesn't like the "real" Jake and gives him a hug instead of a sloppy kiss. From this point on, Jake is nothing more than a prop for the show, but hey, at least he can fly for free.

Then we move on to Jesse the winemaker ( or pizza delivery boy)...at this point I'm getting confused, as Jesse really hasn't received much air time. But anyway, the significant thing with Jesse is that Jillian gives him a nice kiss on the lips. Whether than means she plans on doing him later in the season is hard to determine, but chances are in his favor. I'll keep you posted on this Jesse guy as he could be a real "sleeper". Moving on to the highlight of the show we once again are subjected to David the drunk.

David gets special mention here because as I've stated from nearly the start of the season, I think he was a plant by ABC. More on that later, but first, lets discuss the Jillian/David get together...Its starts with David informing Jillian that she has a great ass. No kidding...(as its a great way to start a conversation between two people on their first date....women love that kind of talk - the same way they love to hear men tell them they have big tits.) So Davie the lover boy thinks he is off to a good start with Jillian and proceeds to give her a big juicy kiss on the lips, but Jillian quickly turns away before David can share his saliva. David is shocked that Jillian won't kiss him and he says he's never been rejected before. Jillian informs David that she isn't the type of girl that kisses every guy she meets, but only the guys she likes. (Which is probably more guys than she cares to remember) David then takes his hand and attempts to touch Jillian's left boob. ABC had to "bleep out" what David said to her, but apparently David suggested to Jillian that her tit was falling out of her blouse. Jillian then told David that it was her bra. (No, I'm not making this up...but if I were a betting man, I say ABC scripted this entire scene) Which leads me to ask the following...remember when I wrote in an earlier review that I thought David was a plant ? Well now there are rumors floating all over the net that suggest my initial impressions might be accurate. In fact, one rumor suggests that on the first night of the show David's limo scene with Jillian had to be filmed three times before getting it right. Yea, that was the scene where the retard David gets out of the limo, walks up to Jillian, and stands in front of her for nearly thirty seconds without saying a word. And for whatever reason, Jillian gave David the first impression rose for his efforts. Was it a sincere impression that Jillian received ? Or was Jillian part of the act as well ?

Moving on to the next date, this time a "two on one" between Jillian, Mark and "Speedo Mike". Compared to the sexual predator David, these two chumps were extremely dull - so to make a long story short, Mike didn't make the cut this time, apparently his speedos could get him only so far. As for Mark, he makes the cut but is about as exciting as a ten pound bag of fertilizer. Enough said..

The only other noteworthy happening was between Jillian and Tanner,ie, the foot freak. Although Tanner didn't do his fancy footwork on this date, he did start some controversy by suggesting that one of the guys was in a relationship with another woman. Tanner, being the snitch that he is, wouldn't tell Jillian who the two timing guy was, so all Jillian could do was cry a bit, and hope it wasn't Wes, as she's probably already had sex with Wes. So to create more drama, Chris Harrison comes out just before the rose ceremony and tells the guys that Jillian is very upset...and asks the guys to spill the beans. None of the guys does, so Jillian goes on with the ceremony as if nothing happened. But something did happen...which is that I wasted two hours watching this shit.


The guys making the cut...Jesse,Kip,Mark,Reid,Robby,Ed,Michael,Wes,Jake,Tanner.