Weekly review #2....5/25/09

If you're reading this, that means you've found the new home for Bachelorette News. Had to make some changes due to technical glitches, so hopefully everything will work as planned from now on. From this day forward, this blog, nor I, will be associated with Aletheia's old blog. As you can see, the polls that were up lost all the votes when transferred over to this forum, sorry about that. (Basically, I had to create a new forum from scratch) From now on everything should be fine.

Well, lets get on with the review for week number two...

Does the movie Animal House ring a bell ? Because after watching this week's episode I'm starting to feel like thats what I'm watching. A bunch of horny guys with limited women skills ( two of which might be gay) running around in the Bachelorette version of Delta House. Don't get me wrong, this isn't a jab at Animal House - if anything Animal House was far more sophisticated. But come on...as viewers we have been subjected to two male strippers, a pilot who believes he is in love after the first date, two gay guys apparently who got lost on the ABC set and ended up on the wrong show, and the inevitable testosterone filled conflict between Juan and David.(who also might be gay)

Before I forget to ask...does anyone really think this David character is real ? Give me a break...who gets mad at someone for not drinking a shot ? And what adult uses the language "Juan needs to be beat up" ? Beat up ? Isn't that terminology used by grade schoolers ? ABC is clearly using this tool David to create conflict in the hopes viewers like me won't fall asleep by the second hour of the show. Hey David, here's some advice asshole, if you want a job in Hollywood, take some acting lessons because your tough guy act with Juan makes you look like a clown.

OK, lets move on to a few of the more memorable parts of this week's show....lets start with Mike, ie, "Mr.Speedo". All I can say is he looked like a fool running into the ocean with tight speedos on....and looked like an even bigger fool when he came out of the water with what looked like a small appendage inside his speedos. Yea, that scene really got the attention of Jillian....what a loser. Not surprisingly, the ABC cameras quickly panned away from this jerkoff, probably out of respect for the handicapped.

Not to be outdone, another guy, (hell, I forgot his name, and so should you) did a full monty in front of Jillian and the rest of the guys when he jumped in the pool in the buff. Apparently he didn't have much going on below the waste because Jillian didn't give him a rose later in the evening. Enough said.

Lets move on to one of Jillian's "romantic" one on one dates..... Fasten your belts and put out your smokes because the pilot (Jake) goes on his first date with Jillian. The most memorable parts of this date are 1) Jillian's dance on the table while Jake pretends not to look under her dress...and 2) While sitting alone on their date together watching Martina McBride (doesn't everyone?) Jake plants a kiss on Jillian's lips in one of the more awkward moments of the night. But hey, he's obviously in love, as he has known her for at least thirty minutes, so hell, why not ? Certainly Jillian didn't mind. In fact, it seems as if its a requirement for Jillian to french kiss as many horny guys as she can before deciding which one she will marry later this year. Who would've thought such a sweet innocent girl like Jillian would have such a dark side ?...I did, thats who.

Another of the dates Jillian went on was with the aspiring country singer "Wes". Of course, we have no way of knowing what went on behind closed doors during the late night/early morning hours between these two, but I'm sure it was nothing more than Wes singing sweet love songs into Jillian's ears. Afterall, she said she loves country music.

I guess the highlight of the this week's show, (if there was one) occurred when the Harlem Globetrotters made an unexpected visit to the beachside basketball court to play hoops with Jillian and the guys. (They must be big fans of the show.. LOL) The Harlem Globetrotters ?.... I thought they were all dead. Where was Meadowlark Lemon ? or Curly Neal ? The only noteworthy Globetrotter in this bunch was the center who just might be tallest black guy I've ever seen. And I've been to Africa ! Hell, this guy makes Kareem Abdul Jabbar look like a midget in comparison.

As the show wound down to the predictable rose ceremony, Jillian did her thing and thanked all the dudes for showing up and being the incredible douchebags they are. In no particular order, the fools that made the cut this week are..

Wes,Jake,Mike,Juan,Jesse,David,Ed,Sasha,Mark,Michael,Tanner,Kiptyn,Reid,Robby,Tanner F. and Brad.