Friday, June 26, 2009
Weekly review#6 ...6/22/09
Lets start with the obvious...if you're wondering what took so long for this review, let me explain. As I usually do, I sat down in front of the tube on Monday night with popcorn in my hand ready to watch another exciting episode of the Bachelorette. For those of you with short memories, this episode included Jillian doing a train with the guys in the Canadian Rockies. The show started with Jillian and Robby on a "one on one" date. Robby, who is a bartender, started the date by asking Jillian what she wanted to drink, she replied, and he made the drink. Apparently this was the highlight of the date for Jillian, as shortly thereafter, she dumped him. But this wasn't just another Bachelorette "dumping". No, this time the ABC producers came up with a new idea to make the contrived drama look even more ridiculous. You see, once Jillian told Robby he wasn't getting a rose, the train stopped and Robby was forced to get off - in the middle of the Rockies. That's right, the poor sap Robby not only got dumped by Jillian, but he was forced to get off the fricken train ! Fortunately, one could see a van waiting along the tracks waiting to pick up Robby for his long drive back to wherever the hell he came from. Hell, I'm waiting for ABC to script another one of those goofy helicopter dates for Jillian. I can see it now, while in the helicopter Jillian tells one of the guys that he isn't getting a rose, and at the urging of ABC, Jillian tells the dude he must jump out in mid-air. Now that would be a great way to create excitement in what has otherwise been a dull season. (Lets just hope ABC supplies the parachute.) Which leads me to why I didn't write a review for this episode last week. Its really a simple explanation...shortly after the Robby segment, I fell asleep. That's right, I fell asleep and missed the rest of the episode. But from what I've heard, I didn't miss much, and since we all know who the finalists will be, it didn't matter anyway.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Weekly review #5, 06/15/09
Contrived, ridiculous, predictable, but most of all, boring. Those are the words that best describe this week's episode of the Bachelorette. Sorry that it took me so long to write a review, but seriously, because this show has reached new lows of superficiality, I was having a hard time coming up with anything meaningful to review. But the show must go on, right ? Rather than rehash the entire snooze fest this week, what I will do instead is focus on two of the most interesting parts of the show. (if there were any)
Lets start with the contrived nonsense between Jillian and her new found love "Ed". I don't know about you, but I barely remember this guy Ed from previous episodes. Oh sure, he was part of the show, but never was this knucklehead shown to be in a deep relationship with Jillian...until this week. As you probably know by now, Ed was told by his employer back in Chicago to either come back to work, or find a new job. ABC played this up as a heartbreaking conflict that Ed needed to resolve....a conflict so deep and emotional that Ed needed days to figure it out. Hey douchebag, if the choice is between a stable job that pays good money versus a bimbo, I'll take the job every time. Yet ABC, thinking that the viewers are even more stupid than Jillian and Ed, played this thing up as if it were a serious issue. What makes me even more annoyed is the fact that Jillian was hurt that poor ole Ed decided to go back to Chicago instead of staying with her. Is she serious ? Or is this just another scripted act by the ABC producers to create drama ? If Jillian was serious, then I have even less respect for her than I did before, (which was very little) This little tramp hardly even knows Ed, yet she wants him to give up his job just for her ? Hell, he isn't even her boyfriend yet....give me a break...
That leads to my next annoyance...the one on one date between Jillian and Michael. I should state from the start that I think Michael is the most annoying dude on the show this year, or any fucking year ! Break dancer ? This retard should spend more time getting his GED and less time hitting on chicks he has no chance of getting. (Even if the chick is someone as mediocre as Jillian) It was obvious that during the dinner date these two had absolutely NO chemistry. It was almost as if Jillian was interviewing Michael for a job when asking him what he wants to do with his life, what type of woman he likes, and whether he was on the show for the right reasons. Hey Michael, I have some advice for you sport...kill yourself ! Comprende?
In conclusion, I'm having more and more respect for Wes...because if it's true that he is on the show only to promote his CD, then he is definitely on the show for the right reason, because promoting his CD is a far more noble cause than falling in love with a trollop.
The victims, excuse me, the guys making this cut this week are...
Jesse, Kip, Reid, Robby, Michael, Wes, Jake, Tanner.
Lets start with the contrived nonsense between Jillian and her new found love "Ed". I don't know about you, but I barely remember this guy Ed from previous episodes. Oh sure, he was part of the show, but never was this knucklehead shown to be in a deep relationship with Jillian...until this week. As you probably know by now, Ed was told by his employer back in Chicago to either come back to work, or find a new job. ABC played this up as a heartbreaking conflict that Ed needed to resolve....a conflict so deep and emotional that Ed needed days to figure it out. Hey douchebag, if the choice is between a stable job that pays good money versus a bimbo, I'll take the job every time. Yet ABC, thinking that the viewers are even more stupid than Jillian and Ed, played this thing up as if it were a serious issue. What makes me even more annoyed is the fact that Jillian was hurt that poor ole Ed decided to go back to Chicago instead of staying with her. Is she serious ? Or is this just another scripted act by the ABC producers to create drama ? If Jillian was serious, then I have even less respect for her than I did before, (which was very little) This little tramp hardly even knows Ed, yet she wants him to give up his job just for her ? Hell, he isn't even her boyfriend yet....give me a break...
That leads to my next annoyance...the one on one date between Jillian and Michael. I should state from the start that I think Michael is the most annoying dude on the show this year, or any fucking year ! Break dancer ? This retard should spend more time getting his GED and less time hitting on chicks he has no chance of getting. (Even if the chick is someone as mediocre as Jillian) It was obvious that during the dinner date these two had absolutely NO chemistry. It was almost as if Jillian was interviewing Michael for a job when asking him what he wants to do with his life, what type of woman he likes, and whether he was on the show for the right reasons. Hey Michael, I have some advice for you sport...kill yourself ! Comprende?
In conclusion, I'm having more and more respect for Wes...because if it's true that he is on the show only to promote his CD, then he is definitely on the show for the right reason, because promoting his CD is a far more noble cause than falling in love with a trollop.
The victims, excuse me, the guys making this cut this week are...
Jesse, Kip, Reid, Robby, Michael, Wes, Jake, Tanner.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Weekly review #4...6/8/09
Not much kissing in this episode...Jillian's lips must still be sore from last week.
The show started with the guys going to Jillian's home town of Vancouver. Once there, Kip got the honor of doing a "one on one" date. They meet at a harbor, where Jillian informs Kip that they will be going kayaking across the harbor to a store where they can purchase food for a dinner later that evening. The highlight of this shopping event was Jillian's mispronunciation of the word "pasta". As the day turns to evening, Jillian and Kip have a romantic date with soft kisses, good wine, more soft kisses, and finally, the obligatory rose for Kip. In other words, a boring ten minutes of television programming. Moving on...
Next up was the 'groupie" date where Jillian and the guys go "curling". For those of you who didn't watch the late night replay of the winter olympics, let me explain what curling is. Basically, an object the size of a bowling ball with a flat bottom slides down the ice while grown men and women brush the ice with broom sticks to make the object go faster. Fun stuff for a group of horny guys who all want one thing, which is to get in Jillian's pants, right ? OK, I know what you're all asking...is the remainder of the show as boring as the beginning ? Well, no...let me explain why. You see, there was a method to ABC's madness when they introduced "curling" into the show. Since it was a group date, and the Harlem Globetrotters were out of town, curling was the next best thing to get all the guys together to show off in front of Jillian. The guys were split up into two teams and the winning team got to spend the rest of the day with Jillian. And the winners were Jake, Jesse, David, Robby, and Juan.
First up to spend "alone" time with Jillian was Jake the commercial pilot. Poor Jake. He brings up a prior statement by Jillian in which she says he should "be himself"...basically that's the kiss of death for Jake and he knows it. But being the good sport he is, Jake says to Jillian.."this is the real me". Jillian looks at Jake and realizes that she doesn't like the "real" Jake and gives him a hug instead of a sloppy kiss. From this point on, Jake is nothing more than a prop for the show, but hey, at least he can fly for free.
Then we move on to Jesse the winemaker ( or pizza delivery boy)...at this point I'm getting confused, as Jesse really hasn't received much air time. But anyway, the significant thing with Jesse is that Jillian gives him a nice kiss on the lips. Whether than means she plans on doing him later in the season is hard to determine, but chances are in his favor. I'll keep you posted on this Jesse guy as he could be a real "sleeper". Moving on to the highlight of the show we once again are subjected to David the drunk.
David gets special mention here because as I've stated from nearly the start of the season, I think he was a plant by ABC. More on that later, but first, lets discuss the Jillian/David get together...Its starts with David informing Jillian that she has a great ass. No kidding...(as its a great way to start a conversation between two people on their first date....women love that kind of talk - the same way they love to hear men tell them they have big tits.) So Davie the lover boy thinks he is off to a good start with Jillian and proceeds to give her a big juicy kiss on the lips, but Jillian quickly turns away before David can share his saliva. David is shocked that Jillian won't kiss him and he says he's never been rejected before. Jillian informs David that she isn't the type of girl that kisses every guy she meets, but only the guys she likes. (Which is probably more guys than she cares to remember) David then takes his hand and attempts to touch Jillian's left boob. ABC had to "bleep out" what David said to her, but apparently David suggested to Jillian that her tit was falling out of her blouse. Jillian then told David that it was her bra. (No, I'm not making this up...but if I were a betting man, I say ABC scripted this entire scene) Which leads me to ask the following...remember when I wrote in an earlier review that I thought David was a plant ? Well now there are rumors floating all over the net that suggest my initial impressions might be accurate. In fact, one rumor suggests that on the first night of the show David's limo scene with Jillian had to be filmed three times before getting it right. Yea, that was the scene where the retard David gets out of the limo, walks up to Jillian, and stands in front of her for nearly thirty seconds without saying a word. And for whatever reason, Jillian gave David the first impression rose for his efforts. Was it a sincere impression that Jillian received ? Or was Jillian part of the act as well ?
Moving on to the next date, this time a "two on one" between Jillian, Mark and "Speedo Mike". Compared to the sexual predator David, these two chumps were extremely dull - so to make a long story short, Mike didn't make the cut this time, apparently his speedos could get him only so far. As for Mark, he makes the cut but is about as exciting as a ten pound bag of fertilizer. Enough said..
The only other noteworthy happening was between Jillian and Tanner,ie, the foot freak. Although Tanner didn't do his fancy footwork on this date, he did start some controversy by suggesting that one of the guys was in a relationship with another woman. Tanner, being the snitch that he is, wouldn't tell Jillian who the two timing guy was, so all Jillian could do was cry a bit, and hope it wasn't Wes, as she's probably already had sex with Wes. So to create more drama, Chris Harrison comes out just before the rose ceremony and tells the guys that Jillian is very upset...and asks the guys to spill the beans. None of the guys does, so Jillian goes on with the ceremony as if nothing happened. But something did happen...which is that I wasted two hours watching this shit.
The guys making the cut...Jesse,Kip,Mark,Reid,Robby,Ed,Michael,Wes,Jake,Tanner.
The show started with the guys going to Jillian's home town of Vancouver. Once there, Kip got the honor of doing a "one on one" date. They meet at a harbor, where Jillian informs Kip that they will be going kayaking across the harbor to a store where they can purchase food for a dinner later that evening. The highlight of this shopping event was Jillian's mispronunciation of the word "pasta". As the day turns to evening, Jillian and Kip have a romantic date with soft kisses, good wine, more soft kisses, and finally, the obligatory rose for Kip. In other words, a boring ten minutes of television programming. Moving on...
Next up was the 'groupie" date where Jillian and the guys go "curling". For those of you who didn't watch the late night replay of the winter olympics, let me explain what curling is. Basically, an object the size of a bowling ball with a flat bottom slides down the ice while grown men and women brush the ice with broom sticks to make the object go faster. Fun stuff for a group of horny guys who all want one thing, which is to get in Jillian's pants, right ? OK, I know what you're all asking...is the remainder of the show as boring as the beginning ? Well, no...let me explain why. You see, there was a method to ABC's madness when they introduced "curling" into the show. Since it was a group date, and the Harlem Globetrotters were out of town, curling was the next best thing to get all the guys together to show off in front of Jillian. The guys were split up into two teams and the winning team got to spend the rest of the day with Jillian. And the winners were Jake, Jesse, David, Robby, and Juan.
First up to spend "alone" time with Jillian was Jake the commercial pilot. Poor Jake. He brings up a prior statement by Jillian in which she says he should "be himself"...basically that's the kiss of death for Jake and he knows it. But being the good sport he is, Jake says to Jillian.."this is the real me". Jillian looks at Jake and realizes that she doesn't like the "real" Jake and gives him a hug instead of a sloppy kiss. From this point on, Jake is nothing more than a prop for the show, but hey, at least he can fly for free.
Then we move on to Jesse the winemaker ( or pizza delivery boy)...at this point I'm getting confused, as Jesse really hasn't received much air time. But anyway, the significant thing with Jesse is that Jillian gives him a nice kiss on the lips. Whether than means she plans on doing him later in the season is hard to determine, but chances are in his favor. I'll keep you posted on this Jesse guy as he could be a real "sleeper". Moving on to the highlight of the show we once again are subjected to David the drunk.
David gets special mention here because as I've stated from nearly the start of the season, I think he was a plant by ABC. More on that later, but first, lets discuss the Jillian/David get together...Its starts with David informing Jillian that she has a great ass. No kidding...(as its a great way to start a conversation between two people on their first date....women love that kind of talk - the same way they love to hear men tell them they have big tits.) So Davie the lover boy thinks he is off to a good start with Jillian and proceeds to give her a big juicy kiss on the lips, but Jillian quickly turns away before David can share his saliva. David is shocked that Jillian won't kiss him and he says he's never been rejected before. Jillian informs David that she isn't the type of girl that kisses every guy she meets, but only the guys she likes. (Which is probably more guys than she cares to remember) David then takes his hand and attempts to touch Jillian's left boob. ABC had to "bleep out" what David said to her, but apparently David suggested to Jillian that her tit was falling out of her blouse. Jillian then told David that it was her bra. (No, I'm not making this up...but if I were a betting man, I say ABC scripted this entire scene) Which leads me to ask the following...remember when I wrote in an earlier review that I thought David was a plant ? Well now there are rumors floating all over the net that suggest my initial impressions might be accurate. In fact, one rumor suggests that on the first night of the show David's limo scene with Jillian had to be filmed three times before getting it right. Yea, that was the scene where the retard David gets out of the limo, walks up to Jillian, and stands in front of her for nearly thirty seconds without saying a word. And for whatever reason, Jillian gave David the first impression rose for his efforts. Was it a sincere impression that Jillian received ? Or was Jillian part of the act as well ?
Moving on to the next date, this time a "two on one" between Jillian, Mark and "Speedo Mike". Compared to the sexual predator David, these two chumps were extremely dull - so to make a long story short, Mike didn't make the cut this time, apparently his speedos could get him only so far. As for Mark, he makes the cut but is about as exciting as a ten pound bag of fertilizer. Enough said..
The only other noteworthy happening was between Jillian and Tanner,ie, the foot freak. Although Tanner didn't do his fancy footwork on this date, he did start some controversy by suggesting that one of the guys was in a relationship with another woman. Tanner, being the snitch that he is, wouldn't tell Jillian who the two timing guy was, so all Jillian could do was cry a bit, and hope it wasn't Wes, as she's probably already had sex with Wes. So to create more drama, Chris Harrison comes out just before the rose ceremony and tells the guys that Jillian is very upset...and asks the guys to spill the beans. None of the guys does, so Jillian goes on with the ceremony as if nothing happened. But something did happen...which is that I wasted two hours watching this shit.
The guys making the cut...Jesse,Kip,Mark,Reid,Robby,Ed,Michael,Wes,Jake,Tanner.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Weekly review #3...6/01/09
While watching this week's episode, one word kept popping up in my head.....herpes. Why ? Because within the first half hour of viewing, Jillian kissed more dudes than I can count (she probably didn't remember how many either). Hell, I'm surprised she didn't kiss Chris Harrison at some point in the night. But hey, Jillian says she's looking for a "friend" she can love for the rest of her life, so who am I to complain ?
Early in the show, we witnessed the predictable "helicopter date over LA" with Jillian and Ed. Just a question, but why does ABC continue to do these helicopter dates each season ? Having flown in a few helicopters myself and having experienced the excessive noise that a helicopter engine causes, I would think the LAST place I would take someone on a first date would be on a helicopter. But thats me....
Moving on to the group date, Jillian and the guys go western and film a wild west themed movie reminiscent of the great John Wayne. This was Jillian's cue to kiss more guys, one after another, some with tongue, some not. During the filming we witness a gay scene between two of the guys, Michael and Mike, but fortunately we weren't subjected to any kissing between the dudes. Near the end of this wild west farce, Wes the country singer takes Jillian for a private walk and lets her know its tough for him to watch her kiss other guys. She suggests that he is jealous, but Wes was probably more concerned about catching a nasty disease than anything else. But being the southern gentleman he is, Wes plants a kiss on Jillian's cheek and tells her more will come later. Oh boy, such drama !
Moving on, we then witness the guys back at the mansion. This means one thing...excessive drinking ! David,(the town drunk) tells anyone who will listen how much he hates Juan. Juan comes out on the patio,David sees him and proceeds to tell Juan to go back inside the mansion. Juan does as he is told. David continues to drink, and starts arguing with a few of the guys, asking them why they don't hate Juan as much as he does. At this point the producers probably told Juan to go back out and confront David, so thats what Juan does. David tells Juan that he is a bad guy, blah, blah, blah,,,but what David really wants is to get inside Juan's pants. (You KNOW David is gay, admit it !)
Moving on, Jillian jumps in the hot tub with all the guys (how romantic), and then gets out of the tub with Robby, and sits down with him and does more kissing while the rest of the guys remain in the tub. (Don't ask me what some of the guys were doing under the water) After Jillian is finished kissing Robby, she jumps back in the tub and gets attacked by the foot freak Tanner P. Of course, the viewers are supposed to believe this jerkoff is real and not another plant by ABC to create drama. And of course Jillian allows the farce to go on...presumably because she is looking for the man of her dreams and wants to get married and raise children, and maybe Tanner might be the "one"..... Yea, Tanner the dorky looking foot freak would be an excellent husband and father, ok....
Moving on to another "one on one" date, this time Jillian goes out with Sasha. Yea, the dude's name is Sasha. This poor sap claims he is the most well rounded guy in the mansion and believes he will be the one for Jillian. To make a long story short, Jillian rejects Sasha later in the evening..but get this. She walks him out to a bus stop where Sasha must hitch a ride back to wherever the hell he came from ! No limo, no van, not even a taxi for the poor fool Sasha. Instead he is forced to hitch a ride on public transportation. I knew the economy was bad, but I didn't know how bad it apparently must be for ABC.
Finally, in an act of charity, the show winds down to the rose ceremony. Brad and Tanner (not to be confused with the foot freak Tanner P) are cut loose by Jillian. As Brad is walking out the door he says its hard to love someone more than they love you. Huh ? You know what Brad ? Its even harder to love someone that doesn't know you, and considering Jillian spoke with you for about 10 minutes in her entire life, the odds are she didn't know you at all....now go home and do the honorable thing and kill yourself.
So, those making the cut this week are..
Wes,Jake,Mike,Juan,Jesse,David,Ed,Mark,Michael,Tanner,Kiptyn,Reid,Robby. Photos of most ( but not in order)..hell, we already know who the finalists are anyway. LOL
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